Kids, Ch. 12
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sunmoonandspoonHello, hello! Once again, I haven't got anything to say about my actual life--instead I come bearing fanfic! Here's chapter twelve of Kids. Thanks immensely to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
reka, ich_bin_puppy, chiisana inori, and Iron Chief for help, this chapter would exist if not for them.
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Kids
Chapter Twelve - Cream Puff
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He doesn't tell her. He's still planning to, as soon as he sees her, but as time goes on he finds more and more reasons not to do so. He's distracted by the case, devoting days at a time to the pursuit of Kira. Feeling less and less like a human being the further he strays from Sachiko.
He pretends it doesn't matter, didn't happen. That Sachi never asked him, that they never even entertained the thought. And it isn't avoidance, it's not that he doesn't want to speak with her, it's not that he's afraid it's just, he hasn't got the time. They are closing in on the biggest development so far, they have all the evidence they need to nail the second Kira, they just have to time it right. L is 98% sure that she's the second Kira, which makes him 100% sure that Light's the first-he won't say that, it's too inflammatory, but it's clear in his head and that's what counts, for now.
And it's the case that counts, too, not this ridiculous fantasy about Sachi-Mrs. Yagami. She's married, this isn't possible let alone reasonable. The whole thing was conceived in a fever (his literal fever was far gone by then) Mrs. Yagami herself must have been on drugs. Or still sick, or something…perhaps she's mentally ill. In any case it's an awful idea. He tries his best to block it out.
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Soichiro is home, albeit briefly. He doesn't speak to Sachiko, just crashes into bed and falls asleep. As always, Sachiko is torn between sympathy (he works so hard, probably hasn't slept in days and he must be exhausted) and rage (how dare he ignore her the one time he's home, how dare he not place her as his highest priority!)
Today she tries her hardest to get angry. Because if she's not mad then she's just guilty. An adulteress, a monster who takes all her husband's love for her and hurls it to the ground. Breaks it. She was incensed before that he thought so little of her, what now? What now, when she's actually opened the door for betrayal? He made her feel like a princess at first, he's given her two beautiful children and the means to raise them with. Even though he's too busy these days (and having age-related erectile difficulties) she's had the best sex of her life with this man. And it was great because she loved him. Loves him. She does, still.
And yet she can't help wanting Ryuzaki. Can't help hoping he will call. Knowing that the sex will be unbearable, that she'll come to hate his oddities, knowing this will wreck her life but not…not caring. Wanting it anyway and feeling miserable with guilt.
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"I might be Kira," Light said, staring at his hands like they were murder weapons. "I could be doing it in my sleep. You've got to lock me up, Ryuzaki. I need to know if I'm Kira or not so I can get on with my life. I'm begging you, just lock me up and keep an eye on me, please!"
Absolute. Fucking. Bullshit.
This is a set-up. Though acting as Kira may require or even cause a slight drop in mental stability, Light Yagami is not insane. He cannot possibly believe that he's Kira if he isn't Kira. What, is L supposed to believe that Kira is some other personality? Disassociative Identity Disorder is almost always caused by sexual trauma, and L's found none of that in Light's background. There are exceptions of course, but they would have seen symptoms. This is absolutely out of nowhere. Maybe they're meant to believe that he's too impulsive to control himself, or that he has magical powers he's yet to reign in. And he wouldn't have reacted to the stress of being a suspect in this way. Any way you look at it, it's bullshit. Light is Kira and he wanted this to happen.
This throws a wrench in his plans, he's not going to get a real answer out of this. Light has utterly screwed him over. Despite himself, that isn't what he cares most about. Yes, it's awful for the case, but if he gets some sugar in his system and he takes some time to think, he can make this work. What he cares about is Sachi's reaction. Half of her family will be locked up for months, and no matter how it's explained she won't be happy. L doesn't like that. He shouldn't give a damn, but it means more to him than almost anything.
He will give Soichiro a chance to go home and discuss this with her. Though it feels unprofessional, L convinces himself that it's fine. Soichiro chose this for himself, and he can be trusted to return.
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The door creaks open, her husband's home again. Sachi hadn't known that he was gone this time, she'd thought that he was sleeping, she'd stayed in the living room watching TV so as not to wake him up. Her head is swimming with absolute trash, it's three in the morning and she's exhausted. Not sure if she can handle seeing Soichiro right now.
But he walks in on her, invading her space and all she wants to do is get away from him. Sachiko doesn't want to confront her issues directly; all she wants is to brood on her own. It doesn't matter though, Soichiro's here. And he sits down on the couch beside her. "Sachiko," he says. "Sweetheart."
The pet name almost starts her sobbing, she's torn between hating him for showing almost no affection for months--years!--and feeling horribly guilty for betraying him. She just doesn't know how to feel. Sweetheart. Sachiko pulls her knees to her chest.
"You're probably not going to like this," he says, wrapping an arm around her. It's thick like the branch of a tree, and she used to melt into this, but she can't. She just can't. She doesn't ask what she won't like, so he continues, says, "Sachiko, Light and I aren't going to be around for the next few months."
This zaps a bolt through Sachiko, she stiffens and turns to face him, says, "excuse me? Where are you taking my son without consulting me?"
"It's for the case," Soichiro explains with a slight hitch in his voice. He had to have known that she'd hate this. That she would never accept 'the case' as an answer, not when it comes to her baby. Soichiro, fine, it's his job to go off and leave her, but Light's too young, this is dangerous and she will not have him put in harm's way. Or have him gone from her for ages. Sachiko balls her fists, says no way in hell is Light leaving. Soichiro sighs, leans back on the couch. "I don't know that there's a choice. I'm not happy about it either Sachi, but he's needed. I need someone who can't be identified as a member of the task force, and I also need someone with great intelligence. A genius. The only other person I could take is Ryuzaki, but he's got other things he needs to work on. Don't worry too much, though, it's only meetings, and I'll protect him with my life. You trust me, right?"
Sachiko nods. She doesn't trust him, if she's a liar than he must be too, but she says nothing. Buries her face into his tree-trunk chest and tries her best to keep from crying.
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L sits gnawing on a cream puff, wishing he'd picked something harder, something that would hurt his teeth. He feels his brain is being pulverized, he can't concentrate on work at all. His thoughts should be consumed with Kira, what's just happened is horrendous and he's got a lot to do. But all he's thinking of is Sachiko. How she took the news, if she's okay, if she still wants to see him even slightly.
He wraps the cream puff in a napkin, throws it out and goes to grab some hard candy. He will not be as soft as his dessert. He will not.
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Later, she's angry. Later, when Soichiro's gone, she throws her room into chaos, screams into a pillow because to scream out loud would scare Sayu. Light is gone without saying goodbye, and while Sachiko knows it's due to timing, she's furious. Her own son doesn't love her enough to say goodbye, her own husband doesn't give a shit what she thinks, her entire life is Kira Kira Kira and she knows she signed up for this, knows she should have married someone else if she didn't want this but who cares!? This is not what she wants; she wants her kids, her husband, a normal life like the one she always planned for, and barring that she wants Ryuzaki!
Ryuzaki. He still hasn't contacted her. She has scared him off. That doesn't mean though, that he never wants to speak to her again. All it means is she's got to put in the effort, she's got to pick up the phone and call him, demand an answer. She presses the phone to her face, her heart playing xylophone with her ribcage. And she waits for him to pick up the phone.
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Cliffhangers, oh noes! I'm just evil like that. Now comment, or I'll cause brainy bits to grow beneath your fingernails. Also, here's a song for you. It's about a girl trying to get her brother to stop smoking pot! Got absolutely nothing to do with this fic here! Alfie by Lily Allen
reka, ich_bin_puppy, chiisana inori, and Iron Chief for help, this chapter would exist if not for them.----------
Kids
Chapter Twelve - Cream Puff
----------
He doesn't tell her. He's still planning to, as soon as he sees her, but as time goes on he finds more and more reasons not to do so. He's distracted by the case, devoting days at a time to the pursuit of Kira. Feeling less and less like a human being the further he strays from Sachiko.
He pretends it doesn't matter, didn't happen. That Sachi never asked him, that they never even entertained the thought. And it isn't avoidance, it's not that he doesn't want to speak with her, it's not that he's afraid it's just, he hasn't got the time. They are closing in on the biggest development so far, they have all the evidence they need to nail the second Kira, they just have to time it right. L is 98% sure that she's the second Kira, which makes him 100% sure that Light's the first-he won't say that, it's too inflammatory, but it's clear in his head and that's what counts, for now.
And it's the case that counts, too, not this ridiculous fantasy about Sachi-Mrs. Yagami. She's married, this isn't possible let alone reasonable. The whole thing was conceived in a fever (his literal fever was far gone by then) Mrs. Yagami herself must have been on drugs. Or still sick, or something…perhaps she's mentally ill. In any case it's an awful idea. He tries his best to block it out.
----------
Soichiro is home, albeit briefly. He doesn't speak to Sachiko, just crashes into bed and falls asleep. As always, Sachiko is torn between sympathy (he works so hard, probably hasn't slept in days and he must be exhausted) and rage (how dare he ignore her the one time he's home, how dare he not place her as his highest priority!)
Today she tries her hardest to get angry. Because if she's not mad then she's just guilty. An adulteress, a monster who takes all her husband's love for her and hurls it to the ground. Breaks it. She was incensed before that he thought so little of her, what now? What now, when she's actually opened the door for betrayal? He made her feel like a princess at first, he's given her two beautiful children and the means to raise them with. Even though he's too busy these days (and having age-related erectile difficulties) she's had the best sex of her life with this man. And it was great because she loved him. Loves him. She does, still.
And yet she can't help wanting Ryuzaki. Can't help hoping he will call. Knowing that the sex will be unbearable, that she'll come to hate his oddities, knowing this will wreck her life but not…not caring. Wanting it anyway and feeling miserable with guilt.
----------
"I might be Kira," Light said, staring at his hands like they were murder weapons. "I could be doing it in my sleep. You've got to lock me up, Ryuzaki. I need to know if I'm Kira or not so I can get on with my life. I'm begging you, just lock me up and keep an eye on me, please!"
Absolute. Fucking. Bullshit.
This is a set-up. Though acting as Kira may require or even cause a slight drop in mental stability, Light Yagami is not insane. He cannot possibly believe that he's Kira if he isn't Kira. What, is L supposed to believe that Kira is some other personality? Disassociative Identity Disorder is almost always caused by sexual trauma, and L's found none of that in Light's background. There are exceptions of course, but they would have seen symptoms. This is absolutely out of nowhere. Maybe they're meant to believe that he's too impulsive to control himself, or that he has magical powers he's yet to reign in. And he wouldn't have reacted to the stress of being a suspect in this way. Any way you look at it, it's bullshit. Light is Kira and he wanted this to happen.
This throws a wrench in his plans, he's not going to get a real answer out of this. Light has utterly screwed him over. Despite himself, that isn't what he cares most about. Yes, it's awful for the case, but if he gets some sugar in his system and he takes some time to think, he can make this work. What he cares about is Sachi's reaction. Half of her family will be locked up for months, and no matter how it's explained she won't be happy. L doesn't like that. He shouldn't give a damn, but it means more to him than almost anything.
He will give Soichiro a chance to go home and discuss this with her. Though it feels unprofessional, L convinces himself that it's fine. Soichiro chose this for himself, and he can be trusted to return.
----------
The door creaks open, her husband's home again. Sachi hadn't known that he was gone this time, she'd thought that he was sleeping, she'd stayed in the living room watching TV so as not to wake him up. Her head is swimming with absolute trash, it's three in the morning and she's exhausted. Not sure if she can handle seeing Soichiro right now.
But he walks in on her, invading her space and all she wants to do is get away from him. Sachiko doesn't want to confront her issues directly; all she wants is to brood on her own. It doesn't matter though, Soichiro's here. And he sits down on the couch beside her. "Sachiko," he says. "Sweetheart."
The pet name almost starts her sobbing, she's torn between hating him for showing almost no affection for months--years!--and feeling horribly guilty for betraying him. She just doesn't know how to feel. Sweetheart. Sachiko pulls her knees to her chest.
"You're probably not going to like this," he says, wrapping an arm around her. It's thick like the branch of a tree, and she used to melt into this, but she can't. She just can't. She doesn't ask what she won't like, so he continues, says, "Sachiko, Light and I aren't going to be around for the next few months."
This zaps a bolt through Sachiko, she stiffens and turns to face him, says, "excuse me? Where are you taking my son without consulting me?"
"It's for the case," Soichiro explains with a slight hitch in his voice. He had to have known that she'd hate this. That she would never accept 'the case' as an answer, not when it comes to her baby. Soichiro, fine, it's his job to go off and leave her, but Light's too young, this is dangerous and she will not have him put in harm's way. Or have him gone from her for ages. Sachiko balls her fists, says no way in hell is Light leaving. Soichiro sighs, leans back on the couch. "I don't know that there's a choice. I'm not happy about it either Sachi, but he's needed. I need someone who can't be identified as a member of the task force, and I also need someone with great intelligence. A genius. The only other person I could take is Ryuzaki, but he's got other things he needs to work on. Don't worry too much, though, it's only meetings, and I'll protect him with my life. You trust me, right?"
Sachiko nods. She doesn't trust him, if she's a liar than he must be too, but she says nothing. Buries her face into his tree-trunk chest and tries her best to keep from crying.
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L sits gnawing on a cream puff, wishing he'd picked something harder, something that would hurt his teeth. He feels his brain is being pulverized, he can't concentrate on work at all. His thoughts should be consumed with Kira, what's just happened is horrendous and he's got a lot to do. But all he's thinking of is Sachiko. How she took the news, if she's okay, if she still wants to see him even slightly.
He wraps the cream puff in a napkin, throws it out and goes to grab some hard candy. He will not be as soft as his dessert. He will not.
----------
Later, she's angry. Later, when Soichiro's gone, she throws her room into chaos, screams into a pillow because to scream out loud would scare Sayu. Light is gone without saying goodbye, and while Sachiko knows it's due to timing, she's furious. Her own son doesn't love her enough to say goodbye, her own husband doesn't give a shit what she thinks, her entire life is Kira Kira Kira and she knows she signed up for this, knows she should have married someone else if she didn't want this but who cares!? This is not what she wants; she wants her kids, her husband, a normal life like the one she always planned for, and barring that she wants Ryuzaki!
Ryuzaki. He still hasn't contacted her. She has scared him off. That doesn't mean though, that he never wants to speak to her again. All it means is she's got to put in the effort, she's got to pick up the phone and call him, demand an answer. She presses the phone to her face, her heart playing xylophone with her ribcage. And she waits for him to pick up the phone.
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Cliffhangers, oh noes! I'm just evil like that. Now comment, or I'll cause brainy bits to grow beneath your fingernails. Also, here's a song for you. It's about a girl trying to get her brother to stop smoking pot! Got absolutely nothing to do with this fic here! Alfie by Lily Allen
