sunmoonandspoon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sunmoonandspoon) wrote2007-09-13 12:58 am
sunmoonandspoon) wrote2007-09-13 12:58 am
Entry tags:
Kids, Ch. 15
Well, school has swamped me, as expected. But it didn't take as much time as it did in the summer, I guess because I'm forced indoors more often, and I work on fics when I'm pretending to listen in class. Anyway, this chapter isn't going to be quite as intense as the preceding ones…I thought this story could use a bit of a cool down. Enjoy, and leave me a comment!
Thanks as usual to Iron Chief, my most excellent beta, and to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
reka and Zamochit, who helped me plan this damn thing out. And thanks to all of you who are reviewing this thing. You're amazing.
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Kids
Chapter Fifteen - Nanaimo Bars
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It's as if nothing has happened. L's universe does not implode, when he walks back to his post it's all the same. Even the images on the screen have not changed, Light and Chief Yagami are still snoring. Loudly. For a moment he can't understand why they don't know, why they're not shouting at him, why Watari isn't giving him a stern talking-to with implied congratulations. Of course they couldn't know; it's ridiculous to think they would, it's illogical. L is finding it increasingly difficult to use logic lately. His brain has moved into his penis, and all he wants is to have sex again.
He imagines himself doing well this time, lasting for ages and making her moan. When he looks at Misa on the screen he pictures Sachiko with her young body; pictures Misa making out with Sachi in a pink bikini; Misa going down on Light; Sachi and Soichiro bringing home a newborn boy and no, no, NO this fantasy has got to stop right now! This woman has emptied his mind of all rational thought, but she's married, which means untouchable, off-limits, not his. She has a history with her husband, children. What she has with L pales in comparison. And what is this Misa perversion, she's a prisoner for God's sake, what the hell is wrong with him? Is he really so disgusting that all he thinks about is sex?
It sets in with a brutal thud, he can't see her. He's a detective; he can't afford to lose control like this. He will reduce her to her proper role-the Kira suspect's aging mother-and never see her again unless he has to for the case.
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Sachiko wastes days with compulsive cooking and cleaning. The cooking is for Ryuzaki, who doesn't call or contact her. The food fills her shelves and her daughter's stomach, the girl gains weight on all those cookies. She looks up recipes from other countries, learns to make Nanaimo bars and crème brule. All for Ryuzaki in hopes that this will somehow bring him back to her. Because he isn't calling and he isn't picking up his phone.
The cleaning is not for Ryuzaki. She's let things lapse since her husband left, but he will, she hopes, (or does she dread it?) be back soon. And Soichiro should come home to a clean house. Not because he's a neat freak, but because it's basic courtesy, and because when she doesn't clean he gets sick. Allergies, and minor ones, but all the same.
Despite her self-chastisement, Sachiko spends a whole lot more time cooking. She tells herself it's because it's more exciting, that baking these desserts takes creativity and cleaning doesn't, that the joy they'll bring Ryuzaki is more incentive than her husband not sneezing. But Sachi knows that that's not why. It doesn't matter what she's doing, all that matters is doing something for Ryuzaki. Anything.
She doesn't miss Soichiro. She wants to, she'd kill to feel she did but she can't. She misses Ryuzaki, and her son. She wants them back so bad it hurts her heart, but she doesn't miss Soichiro. Of course she hopes he'll come back safely, of course it would kill her if anything happened to him but she…she does dread it. What if he finds out what she's done to him? How will he react, will he leave her? Could she take that, does she want that, does she want to be with Ryuzaki?
If Ryuzaki won't answer her phone calls though, it doesn't matter what she wants. If he doesn't answer the phone, and Soichiro finds out, she's screwed. This makes her want to cry, and if it happens then she knows she'll have to cry alone. Because Soichiro was the only one who she ever showed her feelings to. Because she cannot cry in front of Ryuzaki, or her kids. Or anybody, anymore.
God, what has she done to her life?
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L sits across from Chief Yagami, unsure of whether he ought to be proud of his plan. Because Light is certainly human and almost certainly Kira, he will do anything to survive, even reveal himself, even kill his own father. No matter how much it would cost him, Light wants to stay alive, and even if he doesn't, it's hard to beat your instincts. It takes an exceptional person to give your life up for the greater good. And Light is not that kind of exceptional. This is where he differs from L.
"Are you sure you're willing to do this?" he asks the chief, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. His thighs ache from sitting this way for so long, but he can't change his position. He has to maintain absolute concentration. "I don't want you to have any doubts, otherwise he'll sense it's a set-up. It has to be believable. Are you absolutely sure you can convince your son you're going to shoot him?"
Yagami nods, head bowed and hands clasped as if in prayer. "I can," he says, and L decides to believe him. Because this is the fifth time they've gone over it, because he can't see any other way to end this. He can't keep these people in prison forever, it doesn't help with the case, and Sachiko…no, that's not relevant. Yagami speaks again, says mournfully, "my wife will kill me if she ever finds out."
Of course he doesn't say this, but what he thinks is; not before she kills me first.
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The plan unfolded beautifully, though L can see that it was a horrible strain for Chief Yagami, that he will never forgive himself for holding a gun to his child's head. Light was terrified to the point of wetting himself. At first L wants to bring that up, use his social deficits to excuse his lack of tact, but then he remembers, Light is Sachi's son. And he's been humiliated enough for one day.
L is not sure he likes the outcome. While he's glad that everyone's alive and well, he's deeply disappointed that he hasn't got any leads anymore. He isn't convinced that Light is innocent, the task force wants this to be sufficient proof, but it isn't. Light could be a brilliant actor; he could have known that his father wouldn't really kill him; he could simply have forgotten that he's Kira. After all, who says the power can't pass itself around? Even if it can't, murder is traumatic for the murderer too. Maybe he blocked it out. In any case, he's going to stick to Light 24/7. Because if he knows he's Kira, he will slip up.
And loathe though he is to admit it, he can use this. Light will want to see his mother, which means that she'll find out Light is under suspicion. Which means that he'll never, ever see her again, that she will, in fact, despise him. It's an effortless way to cut her out of his life. There will be no more phone calls that he must resist answering, no more invitations that he must ignore. And Light will talk about her, sometimes. And so L will still have that, at least.
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Her kitchen has reached its capacity. Sachiko has moved all the spices, all the cereal, all the pots and pans off the shelves and into the closet, she has cleared her fridge of everything not pie or cake or fruit related. Sayu has declared this ridiculous, and proclaims loudly over the phone that her mother has gone mad. And it's only when she can't find one more place to store dessert that she realizes, she has. Telling herself this was a bad idea, that Soichiro is the only man she needs and the best thing to do is cover it up is useless-she can't believe it on a deeper level. No matter what logic says, she wants Ryuzaki.
And so she loads whatever she can into the car, leaves the heat off and the windows open in the hopes that they won't melt. These desserts take up more space in the backseat than her kids would, and she's ashamed of herself, sure it'll all go bad before Ryuzaki can eat them-if he will. She has no idea how she'll explain this to the task force, but it doesn't matter, Soichiro won't be there and he's the only one who will care.
Forty-five minutes and one speeding ticket later, she parks in her husband's parking space, knowing it won't matter, they know her here and she doesn't have time to circle the block for hours looking for a spot. Only then does it occur to her, Ryuzaki will not be there. How could he be? She'd never have even met him if the task force could meet at the police station! But she has no idea where he actually is, and he won't answer his phone, and here she is driving around like an idiot with a car full of cake!
Crying would make sense, now, but instead she works her way through four or five Nanaimo bars, cramming chocolate in her face until she makes her way back home.
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In case anybody's curious, Nanaimo bars are a Canadian specialty. They involve chocolate, crumb cake, and custard. They're delicious, though I think Sachiko will probably be puking her guts out when she gets home-just one fills you up to the point of nausea! So yes, leave a comment and all that.
Your reward, because you rock: The Frug - Rilo Kiley. I love the lyrics in this thing. I cannot fall in love/you'll never see my eyes/I will not call you back/I'll never fall in love. A lot of the rest of it is about dancing, but I feel like those lines are appropriate for this chapter. Yay finding music for the fic! I'm totally making an FST when this is done.
Thanks as usual to Iron Chief, my most excellent beta, and to
reka and Zamochit, who helped me plan this damn thing out. And thanks to all of you who are reviewing this thing. You're amazing.----------
Kids
Chapter Fifteen - Nanaimo Bars
----------
It's as if nothing has happened. L's universe does not implode, when he walks back to his post it's all the same. Even the images on the screen have not changed, Light and Chief Yagami are still snoring. Loudly. For a moment he can't understand why they don't know, why they're not shouting at him, why Watari isn't giving him a stern talking-to with implied congratulations. Of course they couldn't know; it's ridiculous to think they would, it's illogical. L is finding it increasingly difficult to use logic lately. His brain has moved into his penis, and all he wants is to have sex again.
He imagines himself doing well this time, lasting for ages and making her moan. When he looks at Misa on the screen he pictures Sachiko with her young body; pictures Misa making out with Sachi in a pink bikini; Misa going down on Light; Sachi and Soichiro bringing home a newborn boy and no, no, NO this fantasy has got to stop right now! This woman has emptied his mind of all rational thought, but she's married, which means untouchable, off-limits, not his. She has a history with her husband, children. What she has with L pales in comparison. And what is this Misa perversion, she's a prisoner for God's sake, what the hell is wrong with him? Is he really so disgusting that all he thinks about is sex?
It sets in with a brutal thud, he can't see her. He's a detective; he can't afford to lose control like this. He will reduce her to her proper role-the Kira suspect's aging mother-and never see her again unless he has to for the case.
----------
Sachiko wastes days with compulsive cooking and cleaning. The cooking is for Ryuzaki, who doesn't call or contact her. The food fills her shelves and her daughter's stomach, the girl gains weight on all those cookies. She looks up recipes from other countries, learns to make Nanaimo bars and crème brule. All for Ryuzaki in hopes that this will somehow bring him back to her. Because he isn't calling and he isn't picking up his phone.
The cleaning is not for Ryuzaki. She's let things lapse since her husband left, but he will, she hopes, (or does she dread it?) be back soon. And Soichiro should come home to a clean house. Not because he's a neat freak, but because it's basic courtesy, and because when she doesn't clean he gets sick. Allergies, and minor ones, but all the same.
Despite her self-chastisement, Sachiko spends a whole lot more time cooking. She tells herself it's because it's more exciting, that baking these desserts takes creativity and cleaning doesn't, that the joy they'll bring Ryuzaki is more incentive than her husband not sneezing. But Sachi knows that that's not why. It doesn't matter what she's doing, all that matters is doing something for Ryuzaki. Anything.
She doesn't miss Soichiro. She wants to, she'd kill to feel she did but she can't. She misses Ryuzaki, and her son. She wants them back so bad it hurts her heart, but she doesn't miss Soichiro. Of course she hopes he'll come back safely, of course it would kill her if anything happened to him but she…she does dread it. What if he finds out what she's done to him? How will he react, will he leave her? Could she take that, does she want that, does she want to be with Ryuzaki?
If Ryuzaki won't answer her phone calls though, it doesn't matter what she wants. If he doesn't answer the phone, and Soichiro finds out, she's screwed. This makes her want to cry, and if it happens then she knows she'll have to cry alone. Because Soichiro was the only one who she ever showed her feelings to. Because she cannot cry in front of Ryuzaki, or her kids. Or anybody, anymore.
God, what has she done to her life?
----------
L sits across from Chief Yagami, unsure of whether he ought to be proud of his plan. Because Light is certainly human and almost certainly Kira, he will do anything to survive, even reveal himself, even kill his own father. No matter how much it would cost him, Light wants to stay alive, and even if he doesn't, it's hard to beat your instincts. It takes an exceptional person to give your life up for the greater good. And Light is not that kind of exceptional. This is where he differs from L.
"Are you sure you're willing to do this?" he asks the chief, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. His thighs ache from sitting this way for so long, but he can't change his position. He has to maintain absolute concentration. "I don't want you to have any doubts, otherwise he'll sense it's a set-up. It has to be believable. Are you absolutely sure you can convince your son you're going to shoot him?"
Yagami nods, head bowed and hands clasped as if in prayer. "I can," he says, and L decides to believe him. Because this is the fifth time they've gone over it, because he can't see any other way to end this. He can't keep these people in prison forever, it doesn't help with the case, and Sachiko…no, that's not relevant. Yagami speaks again, says mournfully, "my wife will kill me if she ever finds out."
Of course he doesn't say this, but what he thinks is; not before she kills me first.
----------
The plan unfolded beautifully, though L can see that it was a horrible strain for Chief Yagami, that he will never forgive himself for holding a gun to his child's head. Light was terrified to the point of wetting himself. At first L wants to bring that up, use his social deficits to excuse his lack of tact, but then he remembers, Light is Sachi's son. And he's been humiliated enough for one day.
L is not sure he likes the outcome. While he's glad that everyone's alive and well, he's deeply disappointed that he hasn't got any leads anymore. He isn't convinced that Light is innocent, the task force wants this to be sufficient proof, but it isn't. Light could be a brilliant actor; he could have known that his father wouldn't really kill him; he could simply have forgotten that he's Kira. After all, who says the power can't pass itself around? Even if it can't, murder is traumatic for the murderer too. Maybe he blocked it out. In any case, he's going to stick to Light 24/7. Because if he knows he's Kira, he will slip up.
And loathe though he is to admit it, he can use this. Light will want to see his mother, which means that she'll find out Light is under suspicion. Which means that he'll never, ever see her again, that she will, in fact, despise him. It's an effortless way to cut her out of his life. There will be no more phone calls that he must resist answering, no more invitations that he must ignore. And Light will talk about her, sometimes. And so L will still have that, at least.
----------
Her kitchen has reached its capacity. Sachiko has moved all the spices, all the cereal, all the pots and pans off the shelves and into the closet, she has cleared her fridge of everything not pie or cake or fruit related. Sayu has declared this ridiculous, and proclaims loudly over the phone that her mother has gone mad. And it's only when she can't find one more place to store dessert that she realizes, she has. Telling herself this was a bad idea, that Soichiro is the only man she needs and the best thing to do is cover it up is useless-she can't believe it on a deeper level. No matter what logic says, she wants Ryuzaki.
And so she loads whatever she can into the car, leaves the heat off and the windows open in the hopes that they won't melt. These desserts take up more space in the backseat than her kids would, and she's ashamed of herself, sure it'll all go bad before Ryuzaki can eat them-if he will. She has no idea how she'll explain this to the task force, but it doesn't matter, Soichiro won't be there and he's the only one who will care.
Forty-five minutes and one speeding ticket later, she parks in her husband's parking space, knowing it won't matter, they know her here and she doesn't have time to circle the block for hours looking for a spot. Only then does it occur to her, Ryuzaki will not be there. How could he be? She'd never have even met him if the task force could meet at the police station! But she has no idea where he actually is, and he won't answer his phone, and here she is driving around like an idiot with a car full of cake!
Crying would make sense, now, but instead she works her way through four or five Nanaimo bars, cramming chocolate in her face until she makes her way back home.
----------
In case anybody's curious, Nanaimo bars are a Canadian specialty. They involve chocolate, crumb cake, and custard. They're delicious, though I think Sachiko will probably be puking her guts out when she gets home-just one fills you up to the point of nausea! So yes, leave a comment and all that.
Your reward, because you rock: The Frug - Rilo Kiley. I love the lyrics in this thing. I cannot fall in love/you'll never see my eyes/I will not call you back/I'll never fall in love. A lot of the rest of it is about dancing, but I feel like those lines are appropriate for this chapter. Yay finding music for the fic! I'm totally making an FST when this is done.
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I thought I was the only one who did FSTs for fics. I need to do one for The Lawliets. I keep on changing how it's going to end. I could either end it short and make it kinda naturally trail off. It won't be sad but it won't be sickeningly sweet. Or I could make it longer and have it end more tragically. I can't decide!
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I've never actually MADE an FST for my own fic before, though I have recommended music that seemed applicable. This time, one of my readers sent me some music that reminded HER of it, so that gave me the idea that I should make a soundtrack. Hell, I couldn't have written the chapter before this WITHOUT a particular song.
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http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2354613/1/
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Anyway, aside from that it looks interesting after a quick scan-through. Expect a review from me within the week!
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I never thought I'd read L/Sachiko fic, but you make it work beautifully somehow ;)
I'll be looking forward to reading the next installments!
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Just wondering, how did you come across my LJ?
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From the
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And right they (and you) are, I totally agree :)
Watari grew on me in time, even though there's so little information out on him. Recently I've read a doujinshi which features some of the cutest interaction between Watari and L, over cake and whipped cream, and then with L sleeping near Watari on the couch :) He's definitely the paternal figure in L's life, or so I imagine.
But I'm getting all rambly in your LJ, I apologize :)
Anyway again, thanks for reading!
It's an honour to read something very well written ;)
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That doujin sounds lovely. Could you possibly link me to it?
Oh, and do you mind if I friend you? =D
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Oh, and do you mind if I friend you? =D
Sure thing, go ahead! I'll friend you right back.
I'm pretty new in Death Note and the people I can bore with L rambles is very low, so there might be lots of squee ;)
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http://forum.deathgod.org/index.php
For rambling about L and other Death Note related things, this is an excellent forum. I highly recommend it. (I'm SunMoonAndSpoon on there, should you decide to join.)
Also, I go on about DN a lot. I'm an obsessive loser. People who are new to the fandom are tons of fun, because they're not bored of it yet. XD; Anyways yes, once I get to a computer that lets me log in, I shall friend you!