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You probably don't remember this, but way back in the distant past (last month) I signed on to do this meme. For those who can't be bothered to click on the link, the meme is one where I have to write dialogues between characters. I've done three of the requests, with the help of the lovely
ich_bin_puppy. Those three are Ash & Light (requested by
templar1138), Mello & Ayame (requested by
stressbeertje), and Taichi & Near (requested by
expertease). The rest will be up when we write them. Enjoy the crack!
Light: Excuse me, sir? Er…young man? What are you doing to that creature?
Ash: What, you mean Pikachu?
Light: Yeah. Whatever you named it. Why are you electrocuting it? Don't you think you might be causing it some pain?
Ash: I'm not electrocuting Pikachu, stupid, Pikachu's electrocuting that pidgey over there.
Light: That's not possible. You must have some cables or something hooked up to its cheeks. I don't see any, but a rabbit or whatever it is can't possibly electrocute anything. And if you are telling the truth, why is it torturing that poor bird?
Ash: *not listening* Pikachu, use tackle!
Light: Oh my god. What is this, did you train that thing to fight? What is wrong with you? *Rummages around for a scrap of Death Note*
Ash: *still not listening* Pokeball, go!
Light: What is your name?
Ash: What? You want to know my name? Really? Awesome! No one ever cares who I am! My name is Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town!
Light: Ash…Ketchum. But you're…you're clearly Japanese. And you're…capturing those animals. Wow. How can your name possibly be such a bad pun? And another thing, why are you capturing those animals? You realize that forcing them to fight is against the law, right?
Ash: Wow, you don't know anything, do you? They're Pokemon, duh. You catch them in these balls here and train them to battle each other. It's very competitive.
Light: That's monstrous. And totally unbelievable. Let me guess, you can also collect a bunch of Dragon balls and have your wishes come true? Fun! I think I'm going to leave now…I have to go 'fight evil by moonlight.'
Ash: Hey, by the way, what was that word you mentioned earlier? What is a rabbit?
Light: *facepalm* It's that yellow thing you're abusing. *Finds the scrap of Death Note and writes down 'Ash Ketchum-is electrocuted to death.'*
Ash: Maybe you met someone else with a pikachu named Rabbit or something, but that's a pikachu. And what was that other one, animal? I don't know that either.
Pikachu: *suddenly realizes he's not going to take this bullcrap any more* Piiiii-kaaaaa-chuuuuuuuu!!!!!!
Ash: *smolders* Oh god…ow…I'm dying…
Light: Yes. Congratulations. You've just been Kira'd.
~`~`~
Mello: Uh, hey, does anyone here know where the bus stop is?
Ayame: Oh! Oh my. Welcome, welcome to my shop, dear boy. Please, sit down. Clearly there is much work to be done.
Mello: I don't know what you're talking about, but I have somewhere to be. Can you just tell me where the bus is?
Ayame: All in due time, all in due time! First, we have to do something about that outfit! It's unacceptable! And your hair is absolute wreck! And….*gasp of shock and horror* your skin! What have you done to your poor skin?
Mello: Yeah, you see this thing on my face? Over my eye? I can't read the fucking map for the bus route because of this, so tell me where it is, damn i-wait, what do you mean my…what's wrong with my outfit?
Ayame: Your coat is so ratty, it looks like you stole it from a homeless man!
Mello: Well for your information I didn't steal it from any homeless man, I found it at a coat drive and took it before the hobo got it. I refuse to convert my money.
Ayame: That's sheer lunacy. You got your coat from a coat drive? Why, you might as well walk around wearing a sign that says 'I am a failure!' for all that conveys. But not to worry, I can fix you right up! I have lovely clothing here that would suit you perfectly! I could make you almost as beautiful as me!
Mello: *pulls out gun* Did you just call me what I think you called me?! I'll fucking KILL YOU!!
Ayame: Oh. Oh, please, don't do that. There's no need for violence. Calm yourself. Er, I have tea. I'll get tea. Yes.
Mello: Get back here, I haven't shot you yet!
Ayame: *on the phone* Yes, hello, Police? There's a madman waving a gun around in my store. Please, do come quickly!
Mello: *leaves* God damn prick won't even…if he wasn't calling the cops I swear I'd have killed him already…how do I find the bus now…?
~`~`~
Taichi: Hey there, Africa, wanna play soccer?
Near: Why did you just call me Africa? *twists a rubix cube and does not look up*
Taichi: That's not important, play soccer with us.
Near: I don't know you.
Taichi: So? You're at the park, why not? Come on, play with us, do it.
Near: Of what benefit to you would it be if I joined you in your game?
Taichi: We don't have enough people to be even on each team.
Near: Well, I'm quite horrible at these things, so whichever team I joined would be at a severe disadvantage.
Taichi: It doesn't matter how terrible you are, play anyway. You know you want to.
Near: I have no desire whatsoever to do so.
Taichi: Well thanks a lot, you're ruining the game for the rest of us! Uncool.
Near: I have no obligation to you and your friends, seeing as I have never met any of you before today. However, I can see that you are not going to leave me alone unless I oblige you, so I may as well. *stands up to do so, still holding the rubix cube*
Taichi: Okay you know the rules right? Okay you're on my team and I'm passing it to you and the goal's over there RUN!
Near: I don't…really…run. Uh. *stands* Perhaps I could be a goalie…?
Taichi: We already have a goalie! Now run or you'll be totally useless.
Near: That's what I told you I was going to be. Perhaps you should heed my warning next time. *is smacked in the face with a soccer ball* Ow. That was painful.
Taichi: Woah, are you alright? Was that painful?
Near: No, not at all. *rolls eyes* Listen…I have this knife fight scheduled soon, so I'd better get going. It was nice meeting you. Bye.
Taichi: Knife…fight…? *looks around and backs away* I'm really sorry for hitting you by the way.
Near: Don't worry, I won't cut you. I just have this extremely unstable acquaintance, who challenged me to a knife fight for no reason I can comprehend. He won't be pleased if I don't show up for it.
Taichi: Woah, I haven't met anyone who knife fights before. Usually the people I know solve their conflicts in less…or maybe more dangerous, actually. Forget I said that.
Near: I'm not personally a fan of violence, but it's either that or be stabbed in my sleep, so. *shrugs* What can you do?
Taichi: How are we supposed to play the game evenly now?
Near: That is no concern of mine. I'm leaving now. *does so*
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Light: Excuse me, sir? Er…young man? What are you doing to that creature?
Ash: What, you mean Pikachu?
Light: Yeah. Whatever you named it. Why are you electrocuting it? Don't you think you might be causing it some pain?
Ash: I'm not electrocuting Pikachu, stupid, Pikachu's electrocuting that pidgey over there.
Light: That's not possible. You must have some cables or something hooked up to its cheeks. I don't see any, but a rabbit or whatever it is can't possibly electrocute anything. And if you are telling the truth, why is it torturing that poor bird?
Ash: *not listening* Pikachu, use tackle!
Light: Oh my god. What is this, did you train that thing to fight? What is wrong with you? *Rummages around for a scrap of Death Note*
Ash: *still not listening* Pokeball, go!
Light: What is your name?
Ash: What? You want to know my name? Really? Awesome! No one ever cares who I am! My name is Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town!
Light: Ash…Ketchum. But you're…you're clearly Japanese. And you're…capturing those animals. Wow. How can your name possibly be such a bad pun? And another thing, why are you capturing those animals? You realize that forcing them to fight is against the law, right?
Ash: Wow, you don't know anything, do you? They're Pokemon, duh. You catch them in these balls here and train them to battle each other. It's very competitive.
Light: That's monstrous. And totally unbelievable. Let me guess, you can also collect a bunch of Dragon balls and have your wishes come true? Fun! I think I'm going to leave now…I have to go 'fight evil by moonlight.'
Ash: Hey, by the way, what was that word you mentioned earlier? What is a rabbit?
Light: *facepalm* It's that yellow thing you're abusing. *Finds the scrap of Death Note and writes down 'Ash Ketchum-is electrocuted to death.'*
Ash: Maybe you met someone else with a pikachu named Rabbit or something, but that's a pikachu. And what was that other one, animal? I don't know that either.
Pikachu: *suddenly realizes he's not going to take this bullcrap any more* Piiiii-kaaaaa-chuuuuuuuu!!!!!!
Ash: *smolders* Oh god…ow…I'm dying…
Light: Yes. Congratulations. You've just been Kira'd.
~`~`~
Mello: Uh, hey, does anyone here know where the bus stop is?
Ayame: Oh! Oh my. Welcome, welcome to my shop, dear boy. Please, sit down. Clearly there is much work to be done.
Mello: I don't know what you're talking about, but I have somewhere to be. Can you just tell me where the bus is?
Ayame: All in due time, all in due time! First, we have to do something about that outfit! It's unacceptable! And your hair is absolute wreck! And….*gasp of shock and horror* your skin! What have you done to your poor skin?
Mello: Yeah, you see this thing on my face? Over my eye? I can't read the fucking map for the bus route because of this, so tell me where it is, damn i-wait, what do you mean my…what's wrong with my outfit?
Ayame: Your coat is so ratty, it looks like you stole it from a homeless man!
Mello: Well for your information I didn't steal it from any homeless man, I found it at a coat drive and took it before the hobo got it. I refuse to convert my money.
Ayame: That's sheer lunacy. You got your coat from a coat drive? Why, you might as well walk around wearing a sign that says 'I am a failure!' for all that conveys. But not to worry, I can fix you right up! I have lovely clothing here that would suit you perfectly! I could make you almost as beautiful as me!
Mello: *pulls out gun* Did you just call me what I think you called me?! I'll fucking KILL YOU!!
Ayame: Oh. Oh, please, don't do that. There's no need for violence. Calm yourself. Er, I have tea. I'll get tea. Yes.
Mello: Get back here, I haven't shot you yet!
Ayame: *on the phone* Yes, hello, Police? There's a madman waving a gun around in my store. Please, do come quickly!
Mello: *leaves* God damn prick won't even…if he wasn't calling the cops I swear I'd have killed him already…how do I find the bus now…?
~`~`~
Taichi: Hey there, Africa, wanna play soccer?
Near: Why did you just call me Africa? *twists a rubix cube and does not look up*
Taichi: That's not important, play soccer with us.
Near: I don't know you.
Taichi: So? You're at the park, why not? Come on, play with us, do it.
Near: Of what benefit to you would it be if I joined you in your game?
Taichi: We don't have enough people to be even on each team.
Near: Well, I'm quite horrible at these things, so whichever team I joined would be at a severe disadvantage.
Taichi: It doesn't matter how terrible you are, play anyway. You know you want to.
Near: I have no desire whatsoever to do so.
Taichi: Well thanks a lot, you're ruining the game for the rest of us! Uncool.
Near: I have no obligation to you and your friends, seeing as I have never met any of you before today. However, I can see that you are not going to leave me alone unless I oblige you, so I may as well. *stands up to do so, still holding the rubix cube*
Taichi: Okay you know the rules right? Okay you're on my team and I'm passing it to you and the goal's over there RUN!
Near: I don't…really…run. Uh. *stands* Perhaps I could be a goalie…?
Taichi: We already have a goalie! Now run or you'll be totally useless.
Near: That's what I told you I was going to be. Perhaps you should heed my warning next time. *is smacked in the face with a soccer ball* Ow. That was painful.
Taichi: Woah, are you alright? Was that painful?
Near: No, not at all. *rolls eyes* Listen…I have this knife fight scheduled soon, so I'd better get going. It was nice meeting you. Bye.
Taichi: Knife…fight…? *looks around and backs away* I'm really sorry for hitting you by the way.
Near: Don't worry, I won't cut you. I just have this extremely unstable acquaintance, who challenged me to a knife fight for no reason I can comprehend. He won't be pleased if I don't show up for it.
Taichi: Woah, I haven't met anyone who knife fights before. Usually the people I know solve their conflicts in less…or maybe more dangerous, actually. Forget I said that.
Near: I'm not personally a fan of violence, but it's either that or be stabbed in my sleep, so. *shrugs* What can you do?
Taichi: How are we supposed to play the game evenly now?
Near: That is no concern of mine. I'm leaving now. *does so*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-11 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-11 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-27 12:19 pm (UTC)You've just been Kira'd.
INDEED! XD I love how Ash was so totally clueless and went all "That's awesome, someone's asking for my name!!11!1" XD ♥
That was cool! I really enjoyed it! =)
(By the way, care to explain
to a n00bin what way Ash's name is a pun? I'm sorry, that's probably a stupid question... though people keep telling me that there are no stupid questions. XD)no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 10:42 pm (UTC)